Defining Domestic Violence 

Domestic violence/abuse occurs anytime one or more persons in the family or household attempt to dominate and control one or more other persons. It can take the form of physical violence, intimidation, or imprisonment; sexual violence or exploitation; economic oppression or control; emotional manipulation or torture; mental oppression; or any means which creates fear, guilt, shame, or threats to gain domination and control.

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Physical Abuse

Includes unwanted actions against your body which are used to instill fear, injure, threaten, or control. For example:

• Slapping, pushing, pinching, or scratching

• Throwing something at a person

• Pulling hair

• Burning with cigarettes or lighters

• Restraining someone from leaving

• Strangling or smothering

• Withholding food or forcing to eat

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Sexual Abuse

Includes forcing someone into unwanted sexual interactions, even if these are actions that were formerly accepted. This may be:

• Unwanted sexual remarks

• Unwanted touching or kissing

• Forced intercourse, or attempted intercourse

• Forcing to perform in front of a camera or taking photos without permission

• Refusing birth control or STD protection

• Forcing to watch sexually explicit materials

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Economic Abuse

Includes controlling the resources available to a person, as a way of restricting their freedom. For example:

• Forcing to give up salary

• Stopping access to shared bank accounts

• Forcing to quit the job

• Opening bank accounts or taking loans in the victim’s name without your permission

• Refusing money for basic necessities

• Excessive control

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Psychological Abuse

Includes emotional and mental harassment. It can include a broad range of behavior and be very insidious. See a fuller list under red flags of abuse. A few examples are:

• Name calling and put-downs

• Damaging other’s property or pet when angry

• Threatening suicide or self-harm

• Threatening to harm friends or family

• Embarrassing or degrading in front of others

• Stopping from seeing friends and family

• Blaming the victim for their own behavior