As the world grapples with the coronavirus pandemic, the Institute for Family Well-being continues its efforts to provide shelter and care for women and their children who have survived domestic violence and assault. The start of the year saw an abundance of activity despite the lockdown and safety measures that forced a pause on many of our usual programs.
SHELTER RESIDENCY
While we had to limit incoming referrals beginning in March, we facilitated 10 incoming residents and 14 exits in the first quarter. At the end of March, we were sheltering 29 women and children under lockdown conditions. We always seek the best and most appropriate care for our residents, which sometimes requires making hard decisions. Increased care continued for T, whose mental instability was escalating and causing frequent problems among the shelter community. We began exploring options for her 6-month-old son because she wasn’t properly caring for him, and arranged for another of our residents, L, to assume night duty for the baby so T could get sleep and not be aggravated mentally. Unfortunately, the situation deteriorated further and T began eating her baby’s food. While working to mitigate these issues, the baby came down with a severe cold and we had him treated at a local hospital. Shortly after, we had a scare when the baby’s stool was white in colour. We took him in for several tests as doctors suspected his liver wasn’t functioning properly, but thankfully, everything came back clear. Unfortunately, throughout the baby’s health concerns, T continued to disregard her son. We decided to move forward with filing a written complaint with the Child Welfare Committee (CWC) and summoned T’s father, who presented the case to the CWC. T and her son were taken to another local organization for a week, and then T was admitted into a local psychiatric hospital, to which we were required to submit a report on her condition. As a result, T’s baby was taken by the CWC, and two of our shelter therapists were asked to testify about her issues and her dealings with her son. Unfortunately, after some time, T managed to escape from the hospital, returned, and then escaped again for good. We continue to hope for her safety and mental well-being. In another case, P desired to retrieve her son from her village, but her mother-in-law wasn’t willing to hand him over unless P returned to live with her abusive, alcoholic husband. Of course, she didn’t want to return permanently, but we helped her to go to her hometown to see if her son was in school and to assess if there was some way for her to reunite with him. P found that her child wasn’t even in school and, in fact, was nowhere to be found. Upon this awareness, we helped her to write her case in a letter and it was presented in an informal court hearing to the CWC. The CWC sent an order for her husband to submit the child just as the COVID-19 situation kicked in. Now, the situation is pending and we are hopeful the case will be picked up again once everything is clear. In January, V’s family summoned her back to her hometown to carry out an arranged marriage. Her family had told her that no man would marry her, so if an opportunity ever came her way, she should just say yes. V was convinced that she didn’t have a choice. Despite receiving regular counselling, she felt she had to go or her family would disown her. We saw her off with the assurance that the shelter doors remained open to her. She returned to her hometown ready to marry, but the man didn’t show up and the agreement fell through. Her family wanted her to stay and wait for them to find another option, but V refused. She was eager to get back to the shelter and return to her job in our in-house baking unit. Through the counselling she had received, she realized she didn’t need to rely on the marriage option, and she could return to the shelter and find stability and worth in the things she was doing there. We were encouraged by her decision and continue to affirm her desire for further growth and opportunities. We also encountered an issue with our resident, A, who was previously our chicken caretaker, secretively talking to a man who would peep through the fence while she was tending to the chickens. A bragged about her activities to several other women, and they were wise to bring it to the shelter staff’s attention. We confronted her and also managed to confront the man, though he ran away. A felt great remorse over the situation and we counselled her through it. She has two young girls and is vulnerable to approaches from men because of their abuse-filled experiences with her husband. A admitted she was afraid of the man because he threatened to kill her and her daughters if she didn’t agree to marry him. Our shelter director made the decision to bring the three to her home for a week for safety measures and to provide respite from the situation. We also increased security measures and are pursuing further ways to heighten security to ensure all the women’s safety. In several more uplifting updates, we managed to get compensation money for J from another
organisation, and now, we are helping her to open a formal account. We also initiated the process for a referral agency to negotiate a settlement for A, who is going to get a lump-sum payment from her abuser. Two other residents were also able to save enough money to purchase their first gold chains, a cultural status marker and a savings investment. They both were proud to achieve this exciting accomplishment on their own. Before the lockdown was set in place, we received several new admissions. One young woman, Sh, arrived after her parents sent her to the shelter to protect her from a man who had convinced her to steal money from her house to give to him. Sh has a low IQ and comes from a dysfunctional family, but she has settled into the shelter without any issue. Another young girl was referred to us by a local agency, but when she arrived we realized she was highly distressed and restless, and had a mental health issue, so we advised the agency that she needed medical attention more than shelter at that time and she returned with the case officer. Another woman, A, came to us on referral from an agency. We found that she had undiagnosed mental issues and wasn’t on medication. Her husband had been beating her and she didn’t have anywhere to go, so her sisters took care of her children, but left her at the shelter. A wasn’t stable, but we kept her for some time and educated her family on her needs, and they complied with us referring her to a hospital to better meet her needs. We also processed departures for several residents who had stayed under our care for several months. L exited after we learned that she was struggling with an addiction and was self-medicating. She had begun having difficulty getting along with others and was threatening to beat several women, but wasn’t receptive to counselling or help. With the help of an outside supporter, she found a house and took her leave from the shelter. Sh also left after patching up her relationship with her mother. Unfortunately, this was against the advice of her counsellors and mentors as her mother is in a live-in relationship with a married man. R was taken by her case worker and admitted into a local psychiatric hospital because of escalated mental health issues. K, who had clear developmental and mental health issues, also had begun exhibiting increasingly rude behavior toward the other residents, especially the children, after her family had stopped coming to see her. Finally, her brother returned and took her, but we encouraged him to have her meet with a psychiatrist and told them she was welcome to stay on at the shelter. Unfortunately, the family has limited awareness and understanding of mental health needs and didn’t think K had any issues, so they refused to pursue further care for her. We make an effort to assist on external cases that come our way, as well. In one instance, one of our therapists provided counselling for a woman whose husband had begun perjuring her after he started doubting her character. Eventually, he abandoned her, told her he wanted a divorce, and refused to give her any money in the separation. Because her husband came from an influential family, no one wanted to take up her case; but, we were able to help her secure a lawyer through another local organization and the case has begun moving forward. One of our alums also returned after having endured a miscarriage and subsequent beating from her husband. She didn’t wish to stay, but we helped her with some pocket cash and the assurance that our doors are open to her. Another alum, M, found herself in a desperate situation and contacted us. She had been on anti-psychotic medication but had stopped it when she left the shelter. From this compromised mental state, she had a falling out with her father, with whom she had been living, and moved into a PG without money or a job. To make matters worse, her love interest stopped giving her attention, and she had become desperate and suicidal. Initially, we provided basic counsel, but after some time she opened up about her situation, so we’ve enhanced our counsel and are helping to provide for her living costs, and also mobilized vessels so she is able to cook for herself. We met with another alum, H, at a local org and helped her because she hadn’t eaten and gave her some pocket money. She had gone back to live with her narcissistic, abusive mother, so we reminded her that the shelter is available if she wants to return. We continue to manage cases as best we can even under lockdown, and are eager to be able to open our doors to others who require our assistance and shelter.
EDUCATION & AWARENESS
Though local schools quickly closed amid the COVID-19 safety measures, the shelter children had a seamless experience as their studies under our Blossoms homeschooling program were able to continue uninterrupted. While several of our teachers were unable to come in from outside beginning in March, our lead teacher—a shelter alum—and several teaching assistants who are current residents were on hand to carry out lessons for the duration. Before restrictions were enforced, we carried out several activities regarding our education program. Early in the quarter, the grade-school children’s NIOS registration came and we found that the schools they were assigned to were at least 40 km from the shelter. This means that for required exams and other scheduled activities, they would have to be taken to their assigned schools. Unfortunately, this poses a great challenge for the shelter, so we were convinced they need to be enrolled in a regular school. We immediately began exploring options for the next schoolyear, and pursued several meetings with local schools about the possibility of enrollment. This is still pending, but conversations continue even under the current lockdown scenario.
We also held a meeting with several of our educational staff and volunteers regarding how to facilitate administration for Blossoms, despite these pending changes, and are pursuing volunteers who can focus on this role. We are also in the process of formally registering the playschool, and are pursuing funding possibilities with another organization for the continuing Blossoms teachers and programs. In the meantime, regular Blossoms activities continued for the current term. All of the kids had the opportunity to attend a science exhibition at a local convention centre, and they thoroughly enjoyed the experience. One of our grade-school boys also continued going for extracurricular woodworking classes with a nearby Belgian woodshop. In addition, we mobilized two new volunteers who took up Hindi lessons for our 10th and 12th standard students. On the awareness front, we were called in to facilitate connections for a trafficking rescue operation that took place near our shelter, and were able to leverage our contacts to help arrange for a potential neutral witness (a “panch” witness) for the operation. Our shelter director also attended a four-day addiction training seminar offered by a local organization.
VOCATIONAL TRAINING & INCOME GENERATION
We ramped up efforts around several of our sustainability initiatives this quarter in an effort to create more in-shelter jobs and vocational training opportunities for the residents. Several of the women took up positions with our Alpana Closet project, creating one-of-a-kind earrings and readymade garments for sale locally. The women met with one of our staff to brainstorm a business and product plan for the local market, and we also negotiated with a local café to display and sell their products. Through the project, we also were able to sell a collection of handmade tapestry bags that had been donated to the shelter by an abuse survivor. Early this quarter, we made the decision to discontinue our chicken coop project. After several trials and errors with the flock, we found the initiative wasn’t developing effectively. We sold some of the remaining chickens, and the rest were used for shelter consumption. The Bread of Life baking unit experienced exponential growth this quarter. Three local groups of women began promoting the products and placing clubbed orders, and we recruited an alum who had been trained at the bakery and now lives locally to return and help with the increased orders. We also continued receiving regular orders from a few organisations for morning tea and snacks, so with all these incoming orders, we coordinated deliveries several times a week. To meet customer interest, we also began testing recipes for several varieties of cookies and multigrain bread, and expanded our menu accordingly. With all the additional baking orders, our bakery equipment required several repairs, but thankfully did not hinder production for an extended time. Under the lockdown, unfortunately, the baking unit has gone mostly dormant, but the women continue to bake five-six loaves of bread weekly to give locally and to keep their skills fresh.
MENTAL HEALTH & HEALTHCARE
Five staff and volunteer counsellors continued their efforts at the shelter this quarter, with sessions offered over video chat and phone call during the lockdown conditions. This quarter saw 492 hours of one-on-one and group therapy sessions administered for all the women and children residents. Two of our counsellors continued parenting modules with a group of eight mothers. The sessions focused on mother/child dynamics and offered strategies for effective parenting. We also held a “Stranger Danger” session teaching the children the dangers of talking to and taking things from strangers, opening the shelter gate without permission, etc. We noted some inappropriate sexual behavior among a few of the children who had experienced abuse and quickly addressed it with the help of our counsellors. We also held an Emotional Quotient (EQ) training session for the kids with a volunteer therapist, and welcomed a woman visiting from Bolivia who had experienced abuse as a child and in adulthood, and came to share her motivational story with the residents. Currently, we’re coordinating a session regarding male-female relationships, namely how to understand the
dynamics of manipulation and abuse and how not to believe everything a man says—a session that we hope will be especially worthwhile in this patriarchal context. We place high priority on the health of our residents, and seek to be proactive in maintaining the wellness of those under our care. We took several women to a local government hospital this quarter to address routine colds and coughs, and we also arranged for the small children to receive polio drop vaccinations. One of the women, T, took a bad fall while on an errand with her children and tore a ligament in her foot. Local doctors treated her and put her on bedrest, and after a few weeks she was back on her feet with a boot. She’s now made a full recovery. Another of our residents, J, had to be admitted to a local health facility for six days because she was unstable. She was pregnant with twins and had a persistent high fever, and after some tests, we learned one of her babies had developmental abnormalities. After this discovery, we made a decision for her to go to a private hospital instead of a government hospital for her delivery. With the COVID-19 situation, this was imperative because she and her babies would have been at higher risk. We were able to mobilize funds for the delivery, and a C-section was scheduled for the first week of April.
VOLUNTEER & STAFF SUPPORT
Despite the lockdown that put a halt to volunteer activities in March, this quarter saw a lot of activity. We were glad to secure the services of a new driver in January, and we welcomed the generous time and efforts of many volunteers who spent time at the shelter and contributed their talents and resources. After we discontinued our chicken coop initiative, a local organization spent a Saturday afternoon at the shelter helping us to convert the coop into a multipurpose classroom and counselling room. They cleaned, painted, and updated the area in short order, and our residents have enjoyed utilizing the open and refreshed space, newly equipped with tables and chairs gifted to us from another individual. The children began weekly dance classes facilitated by an instructor from a local organisation, and we’re hopeful to continue those sessions online soon as the lockdown continues. Two women also started taking guitar classes twice weekly with a local student, who also contributes his time teaching English to several residents. Several young men from a local organization visited with the kids for a movie and game day. They brought snacks, played football, and enjoyed a screening of “Zootopia.” The residents also have benefitted from several life skills sessions with local individuals, some of which have continued over video during the lockdown. We were grateful to connect with a local eye doctor who offered free checkups for our residents. Ten women and children were evaluated, and eight of the kids were prescribed glasses, the lenses for which were provided free of charge. We also were able to attend a plastic surgery camp through a local connection and arrange for one of our residents, L, to receive free care. Due to a burn accident she experienced when she was young, L doesn’t have ears, and we were hopeful to arrange for a surgery to rectify that. Unfortunately, the surgeries offered were not cosmetic, so instead, they agreed to address some issues in her neck where the scarred skin prevented L from turning her head properly. A team of ten doctors from Germany attended to L, and all the particulars were provided free of charge. L is quite pleased with the results of her surgery, and we’re thankful for the measure of relief and confidence the surgery afforded her. We’re hopeful to be able to open the shelter doors to volunteers again soon, but are grateful for the continued efforts of those who have gone out of their way to offer their services remotely.
JOYS & CELEBRATIONS
While uncertainties swirled through the month of March, the quarter was not without its fair share of good times. The residents enjoyed several celebrations in the first few months of the year. In January, we celebrated Pongal, a cultural festival, with colourful Rangoli and special foods including sugarcane, sweet Pongal, and some vegetarian dishes. We also welcomed one of our alums back to the shelter with her newborn to celebrate her birthday. In February, our shelter director invited all the residents to her home for a day of fun, during which everyone enjoyed some chicken biryani and played games. We marked Women’s Day in March with special festivities at the shelter. A local group visited to talk about positive role models, and they facilitated several art projects and a dancing module with the women, all while providing childcare so the mothers could have a few hours to themselves. Our director also was invited to speak at a Women’s Day seminar by the women’s studies department of a local university, and the college honoured her for the work she continues to do to safeguard women and children who have been affected by domestic violence and assault. We also had the opportunity to set up a stall at a local corporate office for
a Women’s Day sale promoting various women’s organisations. We sold a variety of baked goods from our Bread of Life baking unit, along with Alpana Closet bags and jewelry. It was a big morale boost for the women to prepare the products for the sale, and we were glad to make several connections through the event. We were thrilled to be able to meet several other desires of the women and children this quarter, as well. We submitted applications and secured voter IDs for some of the women who didn’t have them, and we started evening snacks for all the residents. Previously, we were just providing milk, but some mothers were getting snacks for their kids from outside, so it was creating disharmony. So, we pursued some extra funding and made the move to provide daily healthy snacks so everyone would have something. Under the lockdown, we’ve also learned of the needs in several surrounding villages and communities. The shelter children were interested in contributing, so they pulled together two big boxes of their own toys to share with the children in a nearby neighborhood. We also provided food provisions for a local community in need. We were humbled to be able to contribute in some small way, and so proud of the children for their heartfelt generosity.
COVID-19
As is much of the world, we’ve been monitoring the COVID-19 scenario closely. Early in March, we made the difficult decision to ask our volunteers and staff to stay at home, taking proactive measures to lock down the shelter to ensure the safety of our residents. Our shelter manager stayed on in her on-campus housing, and we also shifted our lead Blossoms teacher, a shelter alum, and her son back to the shelter, so they could be among community under lockdown and continue lessons with the children. Board exams for our 10th and 12th standard students were postponed until further notice, but they continue to study in preparation. We reacted quickly to secure the shelter amid threat of the virus, purchasing a surplus of provisions and medicines, and reworking our budget to stock up for several months. We also began administering garlic, ginger, vitamin C, and turmeric in an effort to boost the immunity of our residents, along with neem leaves once a week for detox purposes. Though many regular programs were put on hold, we’ve continued counselling and life skills sessions over video chat and phone.
CONCLUSION
We continue to look to better tomorrows as the world navigates a new normal, and we’re ever grateful for the continued generosity and commitment of our supporters. We extend our deepest thanks, and hope for good health and safety for all. Sincerely, Institute for Family Well-being
